really didnt intend to post sth to let that person feel hurt or to niao him. it was just personal rantings. i hope ppl wun view it as a backstab. shit. backstab is so sth i hate and would much less do. and this word is like so taboo to me. dun rili know what it means or to be backstabbed rili deeply. so i feel weird since i hadnt had contact with this word for ages. except in frenster profiles where twits always go "i hAtE bAcKstaBbeRs.." those kinda things.. anw..
my blog is jus a platform for me to rant. let out feelings i wun rili do so in reality. its like. just some personal observations and feelings. def doesnt mean everyone will see e way i do. or feel how i feel it. or if i felt (too strongly) against sth. i mite be wrong. i mite be overly sensitive. but by postin abt it here. means im just blurting my feelings out.
i guess it would be better dat wc had seen it. and cleared it up. rather den if i hadnt posted it out. he wouldnt haf realised it at all. and i would haf carried this "ill-feeling" towards him for as long as i knoe him. so its like. im happy and i hope that this " ban jiao shi" meaning trip-over stone. would in fact let both of us fall down. but when we climb back up. we do it tgr and more strongly bonded and closer to each other. like we stand up holding hands and walking down the lane kinda thing. shit too mushy and gay. anyw i hope tt this incident served to bring us closer as freinds and i would HOPE that this thing happened so tt it would bring us closer as friends. rather den the opp like what i said during the sharing seession that after this incident it formed a bigger crack in our freindship.
IF i didnt post it and wc didnt see it. i guess it wouldnt be too ideal compared to now whr i tink the situation now is damn nice and ideal and a good thing to have happened to me ( tt he saw e post. got angry and got over it. thus we're closer frreinds) instead of i bearing this minor grudge against him. instead of i hating him whenever he repeats hes habit. or insteada of i carrying this burden or knowing and being aware of his this bad habit that everytime he mouths out e word i feel agitated inside. at least for now. if he mouths out the word. i wouldnt feel anything on a macro scale since i know he has been changing and that his habit has DEF decreased recently. dat i dun find it a prob anymore. dat i dun feel anything ANYTHING against him anymore. dat i dun feel that its his weakness at all. so NOW. even if he calls me tt. or claire tt. i wouldnt react too strongly over it. cos for deep down in my heart. i know that this guy here hes changing and it takes time to completely stop usin e word and mite be impossible. so this guy here. is changing for e better and on his way to a better man. and tt many more would accpt him as a freind and for who he is.

amen