i am so stressed.

sometimes you go through life like it's nobody's business. like as though when you are grown up. well then you are at this certain age. people deem you as: yar you get do aeverything and anything on your own now. not that i'm against that. or i like that freedom. but. guess i'm still not used to it?

it's nobody's fault. really. its just how things happen. how things change. how you change. how you grow. how you think and how your character is. guess i'm just like that. kinda pointless here. saying all this. its like i'm getting no where. frankly.

again i stress i don't like to reveal much here. so if you find i beat about the bush alot and that you won't get what i'm trying to drive at. well anyway. that's your business. not mine. so you can close this window now. well. unless you ARE very kpo. you can always ask me whats hapenning. maybe i'll tell you. but then again. maybe not. ^)~ <-- meant to be a sarcastic smile.

life's tough now at this stage. i used to think the way miss lim's treaing us in primary school is stressful and inhuman. well, now i realise.

i wish last night wouldnt end that way. i hope it sorta. lasted. stretched. pulled. extended. that. the night would go on. but no. it. faded away.

i felt so much better after lat night. everything was regurgitated. it was all vomitted out. everything came out. residues were left behind. as they were stuck to the walls of my intestine. unless i get under the knife, it would probably stay there. stay there way. i dont mind going for an operation. but. who's the one operating on me matters.

i shall change if i need to. i shall mature. i shall grow up. i shall do constructive things. i shall be he one people look up to me and say, " gee.. i wanna be like him.." just like.. how i have this feeling for others. guys. gals. well. some. but i cant think of who. except. miss lim, miss low miss wendy? for guys. :P dowan tell u hu i admire leh.. haha. sounds so gay.

if you cant comprehend the above message. it's because i study literature. it's becuase i beat about the bush. it's because you are not me. it's because my language sucks. it's because i;m unable to express myself. it's becuase i dont want others to know how i feel and think. i tink perhaps. yenyang. at this point. he pops in my head. and another person. i'm not saying who. only they now how weird how eccentric how strange i am. haha.

de ja vu. massacre. dilenma. i like these words.

ps: read and forget. dun ask me or anything. dun judge my character or past comments on me abt dis post. read and forget. dun look at me and go thru in ur head wad i;ve written. kip ur ols stupid image of me. and dun change it.