3.30am. i guess starhub's 9-630pm every damn weekday has made me uber gian to stay up late or rather made me miss staying up till so late as i always used to. so now when i get the chance im like a tiger let loose. rarr. ultra stay up till i dowanna slp, mama. i guess deep down somewhere im just this noctornal sonofabitch who really loves the night, the deep silence of the solemn, windy, dark dark night. with me all alone and the com. as usual just the random surfing around of social website aka facefckinbook. it used to be friendster where i would waste my time away on doing nth but just refreshing every god damn friend's page waiting for updates / looking over my own profile pictures again and again.

this starhub job once again highlighted to myself how godamned slow my brain is and how godamned dumb i am at really catching things. i really cant help myself. fcking dumb slow-ass brain of mine. duno know anything, cant learn anything, wont understand anything. fcking dumb. i wondered how i ever got through all the psle o lvl and a lvl. education system damn screwed to have let me passed through. i dont know why im just so bloody slow at understanding simple concepts / logic. my brain just dont function like normal people! i swear! learning driving is like that. serving ns as a commissioned office in tfc is like that. now at starhub its also like that. i swear this is why i keep asking those repeated, incessant (dont even know e meaning of e word just feel like using) , pointless questions i ask other people. nabil, rongjun, jingwen, bel, weicheng will know. actually, its not just them. EVERYONEFUCKINGONE KNOWS I ASK GODDAMNSILLYBRAINLESSUNNECESSARYQUESTIONSREPEATEDLY hor ernestanxinhan. fckingstupidarren.

and i think, i finally know, not finally but since a long time, not really long cos im always in self-denial, that, i dont miss you. i just miss being in a relationship. its not just gher, xher, or zher. its all just fckingme despratme. aaarr abstain, detach, disengage. abstain detach disengage. come on do it. repeat after me. abstain detach disengage. nb i took e effort to type tt shit thrice becos bloggger.comz dont allow copy and paste here. so u'd better get that drilled into your muthafuckin head mofo.

delete no, block on msn, stop stalking on fb. what else you know? you should just end your life idiot.

like rab lai's fb status. some shit like: no expectations , no false hopes, no heartbreaks = more happiness --> ok tts mine version. dont bother checking.

now badminton also play until so cui. so chui. so cui. chui. cui. you dare to hold up your racquet again? people smash only cannot defend. net also cannot net. so fckin short to smash. smash also hit the net. eh. throw e racquet at him better laarrh.

then now climbing strength all gone. or rather did i have it in e first place. then now wanna get back also like start from negative one. climbforfuck. chalkbag and pearlaceup can just keep using even if got mould growing.

brain so retarded still want to do robotics. bluff people money. dont know anyting ride on other's expertise and just cos of some puny past experiences/accolades keep thinking you're some big shot compared to others who have been in the industry for so long PLUS doing it as a real full-time job. what am i? small fry who duno his own limits. bu zhi liang li.

now run 1:30 interval also want to die. last time train until 1:25 also no kick. now cannot even do 1:35 i think. how to get gold for ippt ns. still talk so much cock.

eng vs biz.
nus mecheng vs ntu biz.
nusmecheng vs nbs.

how about.

riverside vs pon de floor
sidney samson vs major lazer
can some dj pls pls pls mix for me.
lurve the beat. riverside. pon de floor.








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put_myself_down@darren.blogspot.com horz?