really didnt intend to post sth to let that person feel hurt or to niao him. it was just personal rantings. i hope ppl wun view it as a backstab. shit. backstab is so sth i hate and would much less do. and this word is like so taboo to me. dun rili know what it means or to be backstabbed rili deeply. so i feel weird since i hadnt had contact with this word for ages. except in frenster profiles where twits always go "i hAtE bAcKstaBbeRs.." those kinda things.. anw..
my blog is jus a platform for me to rant. let out feelings i wun rili do so in reality. its like. just some personal observations and feelings. def doesnt mean everyone will see e way i do. or feel how i feel it. or if i felt (too strongly) against sth. i mite be wrong. i mite be overly sensitive. but by postin abt it here. means im just blurting my feelings out.
i guess it would be better dat wc had seen it. and cleared it up. rather den if i hadnt posted it out. he wouldnt haf realised it at all. and i would haf carried this "ill-feeling" towards him for as long as i knoe him. so its like. im happy and i hope that this " ban jiao shi" meaning trip-over stone. would in fact let both of us fall down. but when we climb back up. we do it tgr and more strongly bonded and closer to each other. like we stand up holding hands and walking down the lane kinda thing. shit too mushy and gay. anyw i hope tt this incident served to bring us closer as freinds and i would HOPE that this thing happened so tt it would bring us closer as friends. rather den the opp like what i said during the sharing seession that after this incident it formed a bigger crack in our freindship.
IF i didnt post it and wc didnt see it. i guess it wouldnt be too ideal compared to now whr i tink the situation now is damn nice and ideal and a good thing to have happened to me ( tt he saw e post. got angry and got over it. thus we're closer frreinds) instead of i bearing this minor grudge against him. instead of i hating him whenever he repeats hes habit. or insteada of i carrying this burden or knowing and being aware of his this bad habit that everytime he mouths out e word i feel agitated inside. at least for now. if he mouths out the word. i wouldnt feel anything on a macro scale since i know he has been changing and that his habit has DEF decreased recently. dat i dun find it a prob anymore. dat i dun feel anything ANYTHING against him anymore. dat i dun feel that its his weakness at all. so NOW. even if he calls me tt. or claire tt. i wouldnt react too strongly over it. cos for deep down in my heart. i know that this guy here hes changing and it takes time to completely stop usin e word and mite be impossible. so this guy here. is changing for e better and on his way to a better man. and tt many more would accpt him as a freind and for who he is.

amen

me and kel. hes finished hes route alr while im still on Monsoon.


i didnt pose for this picture




looks fake right? but frankly i didnt know when this pic was taken. i was focussing on the route.



same as previous.

i didnt pose for this picture.

way up there. Monsoon. with the big boulder in the cave and the M'sia flag.

im awed at myself too. like this pic alot.

claire, kel, me.

what does jw looks like he's doing? i showed my mum dis picture.

and had to explain profusely after that.

Should change attitude towards climbing. Dont say things like, "I cannot" or "Impossible to do" kinda shits. Anything is possible its just whether its within your capablity or within your physical limits to do it or not. So even if theres a gay reachy tile damn high up and that only chicken or jiahe can reach, i must still tell myself i can do it and jump and cut lose and hang on like a monkey. Whether using strength or not, just go and GRAB and HOLD the tile. In other words, complete the freakin route.

Games are forms of entertainment meant to either kill time or provide you short term "high" or "shiokness" or temporary heavenly feeling. Sucks when that feeling becomes nothing and becomes stress and pressure and the constant need to push yourself to play JUST TO TRAIN HARDER and be BETTER in the game. Its a game. Game = having fun. Not a Competition which means you have to win. So in GAMES main motive is to ENJOY not win. Competition then you go all out and WIN not have fun. So i repeat, GAMe's number one motive in life is to provide entertainment.and thats the number one priority and nothing else. Everything else should come after that. Espeically winning. Also, its about strengthing bonds and creating bonding sessions. Its ULTIMATE GAY when a game doesnt come to provide any of the above two mention qualities ( enjoy, bonding ) . So you should quit the game whevener you feel STRESS or you dont find yourself accomplishing the above two qualities.

Gay results. Different people have different expectations of results. Gay to compare what he thinks is good to what you think is not and vice versa.

Train, study, bond, increase social network, work. Thats all to anyones life isnt it? Thats all ANYONE can possibly do about life isnt it. Thats all to life right?

I need something to help spice up my life. Not too much. Just help me break my routine-like daily lifestyle? Its getting boring. Seriously.

i want to break free. haha.

ok climb on. joga bonito. mug. and oh, my left arms biceps injury has gone to another higher level of pain that i will a tingling pain even now. like almost everytime now. please tell me there's still the physio in tj. pls.

Just got back from Marina Bay with the climbing kids. Was there to catch the fireworks apparently prepared by Italy? Claire said something about Italy's fireworks being somewhat the most anticipated and expensive one compared to the others. And I was like still thinking this fireworks is for the National Day celebrations thing. Its almost like the watch-fireworks season now. Everyone's taking time off to rush to some open place to watch fireworks at 9pm. At first was I was rather reluctant to go, considering I havent started on my Organic Chem. And the frigging lecture test is like. TMR? But after witnessing the fireworks, I was like 100 percent convinced I did not make the wrong move in stepping out of my house. SPLENDID absolute captivating mesmerising display of colour. For one second I felt a tinge of envy and jealousy for thoes swiping out their cameras and handphones taking photos or videos of that spectaular scene. Barely 8 mins and I was caught dumbfounded. Thats why I was silently lamenting on the fact I dont have a good enough handphone to record that 8 mins down. Pity. But there's always next year. COME BACK WITh 3 MP Camera Phone sia.

I hate my left arm's injury. NOt even sure if its an injury or not I only know that when I boulder too vigorously or for too long, my muscles start to ache. Biceps triceps whatever. It just hurts. And I dont like that at all. It sucks totally when you're doing well on the wall, completing moves whether through technique or through mere bull strength, it does take some energy or some strain on your muscles to climb. And when the pain comes. It stays and affects my climbing. I cant freaking exert any strength to freaking grip the tile. I dont know if I should go see the physio or some Chinese Sinseh. I just dont feel like forking out money to pay them for doing nothing. Unless its a guarantee cure. But I doubt they can really do anything to it. What? Muscle balm? Bandage? It totally irks me when the pain comes. Then its the end of my climbing session effectively. So PAIN stay away. Dont bug me now that I'm training for Batu. NONO. Bug me now while you can and dont come near when I'm at Batu.

I'm quite looking forward to Batu Caves. 3 weeks away from now I will be going off to somewhere in Malaysia? To climb some cool cave with cool walls and cool tiles. They said its a guaranteed place for improvement and I'm looking forward to how much I can improve or how much I can accomplish. Sad thing though, its LEAD CLIMBING and i heard the clips are quite far away from one another. So one fall ESPCIALLY when you're clipping in means DYNAMIC FALL aka GG. lol. Chicken knows best.

Talking which, I completed overhang on lead. And Im proud of that accomplishment though some dont see a need for me to celebrate since its so easy to them and I'm being discrimintated for that. Well, screw you. Thats real encouraging that is.

Its rather screwed up how I see others are reacting to what I say. Im trying to be serious sometimes and attempting to the best of my ability to get my message across but people just see it as a joke. It sucks. Just wanna keep my mouth shut. But even by doing so people will say I'm weird and question my silence. Sometimes its funny when you take a shot at insinuating or trying to put me down. In other words niao'in or suan'in is ok in small amounts and periodically. But when it comes in group and I dont find it funny or the others dont find it funny then thank you very much at making Mr Good tempered Darren angry. Just wait for the day where i flare up. Dont worry I will flare at the right time where I have all the rights in the world to do so. Then blow your mind off. But then again, that'll never happen. I'm a peace lover, love maker and good natured harmless cute guy. Okay end of entry you can hit Alt F4 now. Anyway my point is, just try and know your limits and mine too when attempting to make a joke out of something will you? I'm my mother's child too just like you.

Woot, i love to joga bonito with my class but not when we're not playing our best and losing. Recently just caught up with my friend from Nanyang called Melcher who is now in AC. He was from Zhonghua by the way. And I freaking miss my Joga Bonito team or Sumadhi and James. Man we were almost like the second top scoring team in Nanyang la. The only team that can defeat us would be the Nanyang Year 2 soccer team comprising of the captain and two other pro kias. Makes me reminisce about the times I had in Nanyang where we played soccer on the bball court. Damn song la. Damn different from playing in d area in TJ since the goal post is so much smaller. And it feels damn good to play passing-type of soccer compared to TJ's technique-filled soccer. Man i miss soccering in Nanyang. Alas, my soccering times in TJ has yet to reach its peak. Shit, time to haolian.

John told me his team got one guy say I'm the secret weapon of Gamma Team1. In actual fact though my name is down on the Team List i didnt freaking played a single match. Haha, couldnt bring myself to pon training only to play in the match and risk being scouted by Mr Tong to join the soccer team. I cant la. Its unloyal to Climbing. I'm a climber and i PLAY soccer i dont KICK soccer so stop saying, " Let's go kick soccer" in front of me. The word is play. And PLAY BEAUTIFULLY. That's what Joga Bonito is about. Playing beautifully. Not kicking or scoring. You dig? So flaunt your step overs and feints and do a back heel to score. Then I will polish your boots for you.

EPL season seems forever to come. But tomorrows the Comm Shield already? Chelsea VS Liverpool? I'm predicting Liverpool might win marginally considering Chelsea's team so new and has not exactly bonded well as a team on the pitch yet. So Liverpool With Craig Bellamy and Jermain Pennant and the usual Steven Gerr might seem good enough to score. Ah whatever talking like some pundit. Flood my tagboard if I'm wrong. But i'm rooting for Arsenal to win the EPL and Cham League man. GO gunners.

Looking forward to Seniors Farewell where HOPEFULLY i get to play ball on the beach. Whee! Volleyball seh. Beach soccer sounds cool also la.

Ah freak you wake up. You got Chem test and Physics Test and Chem and Physics Spa back to back just this beckoning week. Oh, what a morale booster.