random event.
friday is a day when i have pe. which means its a day i get to sweat alot. and be in the mood of sweating. since first period of the day is pe. and they make you run at least 3km each session with at least 30 push ups, sit ups crunches all this shit. it sets the mood and atmosphere for the day. physique, sweat, hard muscle pumping, and usually a generally high heart beat rate throughout the day. mind you pe lessons is not for the weak. or rather. if you do everything as what the teachers tell you to. it can be physically demanding. he say do 30 push ups. he can do the counting and set the pace for each time you go up and down. but ultimately its up to you if you respect yourself and have the integrity to follow suit. what i mean is some people. some. i dont even know if there is but there's always bound to be. just try to cheat and dont follow. so end up. do like only 10+? actually i got nothing against such people. and i dont wanna comment negatively on such people. cos sometimes they have a valid reason to their actions. maybe they have a tournament later in the day or that they injured their arm or something. individually, i always do what the teacher says and dutifully complete each set. i think my metabolic rate is rather high so i sweat alot and burn fat quite fast. so just imagine a guy after running or after pe with a head that is raining. its practically raining with sweat. my strands of hair will just have beads of perspiration trickling down every second. we usually run 3km. then gatehr around to do physical. pumping and the sort. pumping time. i always leave behind a cross. a cross as in, jesus died on a cross, cross. two palm prints by the side. one line of sweat in the middle caused by my wet shirt mopping the floor each time i go down. even if i dont go down, and stay up in pumping position, the sweat drips off from my saturated shirt. the pe teacher always repeats the same routine every week la. gives the same speech on how you should respect your body... treat pe seriously... train and run properly giving in your very best each time.. and all that. first few times can be inspirational and motivational. subsequently. when he calls you to gather. you just know its time for you to rest your eyes while my sweat dries up and my skin stop having beads of perspiration and for my shirt to be drier. anyway thats not the random event i want to target ( i always crap alot b4 starting my entries) friday we ended school at 11am. school ends earlier since we have sports day later on. only for that friday. plus since our class so many have to leave even earlier than the early dismissal.. the chem teacher let all of us off even earlier than early. so us guys went to play soccer. my class got a damn nice soccer team to play if theres a inter class soccer. im so confident we can thrash la. we got alot of individual good players plus team players that really makes the team a good one. so we go play soccer with the people in the court within the track but outside of the soccer field. most of the people playing there were from soccer j1 team when we reached. we asked for next team. exact details shallnt elaborate. just care to note that im haolian'in on how i got past the two defenders of the opposite team quite effectively. i only recall one prt where the ball was air bound. keep bouncing la. like someone zham high into the air. then all around people scrambling to either head or control down the ball with the cheast or something. i just remeber keeping the ball up with my head. heading it forward.. then chest down. then kick up again to get past one defender then wait for ball to land. then do one screwed up volley where the timing of me kicking the ball and the ball landing was not right. resulting in a screwed up weak shot. by that time i was infront of the goal one on one with keeper. anyway. after the whole soccer session. my friend told me thoes two defenders or rather thoes defenders defending infront of the goal were the j2 defenders of the soccer team of tj. when i heard that. i was damn satisfied and happy inside. i got past them. my god. j2 soccer team. and probably partially because of that act where probably everyone else stood watching in awe or cant be bothered to tackle me or tried and failed, one of them in the j1 soccer team, raman, came to look for me after the session and asked me to join soccer. lol. ok la. ego boost for myself. for my own blogging and reading back pleasure. not for you to past judgement that im a freaking egoistic haolian guy who only talk cock and talk big in his blog.
he asked about my cca.. j1 or j2.. then tell me to seriously consider joinin soccer la. i just kept shaking my head la. i mean i feel damn hounoured for him, i would say quite reputable in the soccer cca itself, to ask me to join his cca. honour la. after that. i did thought of joiining soccer. and my future there. or think if whether it was just a mistake in judgement and that i know the truth myself that im not really that pro to cut it. even if im good enough for the team i know im not that good in a big context.
into which. my passion for vball as been brought back thanks to wengseng. to be frank. and this point of time,. my blogging mood is stolen away by michelle, faris and derek who is chatting with me now on msn such that i cant be bothered to blog anymore and just concentrate on chatting. so i dont feel like blogging much. so in short, im made to consider and im considering to join vball. since the team is like. only 4 j1's. and if i go in. i will most probably make it into school team. since i have the skill and there isnt alot of people fighting for the place with me. wengseng has alot of theory and reasons for me to join vball. in which i am quite tempted. but to a major extent, i just like playing vball itself. so i wouldnt mind joiining the cca and train competitevly. physically wise like jumping high and spiking and strength,,, ball sense.. i just cant stand it la. some people have ball sense others just dont. cant really be trained up. i guess i have. and since i have basics from badminton which to me is almost similar to vball since you whack the ball like how you whack the shuttle with a racquet. same basic swinging movement in the air la. that explains my tiao yue. aiyar. cant be bothered to talk vball terms here since no one understands or have seen how i play. so i shall shut up.
climbing... so much to say. wont do it here wont do it now. went to find shoes today. no results. but learnt so much more about climbing equipments. motivates me to ba a gd and pro climber. uncertain tho i am about staying on in climbing and about which permenant cca to be in. if the selection trials in two months time shows i am still in the team. imma dedicate and commit myself to climbing and be an official climber.
check this space 2 months down.
darren the climber
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Arena(known to self and others) bold, friendly, mature, reflective, self-conscious | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, accepting, adaptable, brave, calm, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, happy, helpful, independent, ingenious, intelligent, knowledgeable, logical, modest, nervous, observant, proud, quiet, relaxed, responsive, self-assertive, sensible, shy, silly, spontaneous, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty |
Façade(known only to self) idealistic | Unknown(known to nobody) caring, giving, introverted, kind, loving, organised, patient, powerful, religious, searching, sentimental, sympathetic |
All Percentages
able (12%) accepting (4%) adaptable (20%) bold (29%) brave (4%) calm (4%) caring (0%) cheerful (20%) clever (29%) complex (8%) confident (12%) dependable (4%) dignified (4%) energetic (33%) extroverted (16%) friendly (45%) giving (0%) happy (8%) helpful (4%) idealistic (0%) independent (8%) ingenious (4%) intelligent (8%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (12%) logical (4%) loving (0%) mature (4%) modest (8%) nervous (4%) observant (12%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (4%) quiet (4%) reflective (4%) relaxed (12%) religious (0%) responsive (4%) searching (0%) self-assertive (8%) self-conscious (16%) sensible (20%) sentimental (0%) shy (8%) silly (25%) spontaneous (20%) sympathetic (0%) tense (4%) trustworthy (12%) warm (8%) wise (8%) witty (29%)
Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 21.4.2006, using data from 24 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view'>http://kevan.org/johari?view=exosphere">view exosphere's full data.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view'>http://kevan.org/johari?view=exosphere">view exosphere's full data.
Saturday, April 8, 2006
today was a fun anf eventful day. i just know i have to blog it down. yea. so here goes.
the day started off like normal.. as usual..climb into the new car. mitsubishi lancer. black and stylish and sleek and all. den mum drove mei to her sch den dropped me at tj. and as usual i would be inside dozing off. not dozing off. i would be sleeping. i seriously cant imagine that within that journey where the car drives towards tj sch gate... how many potential suitors of mine saw me drooling.. omg la.. it'll so turn them on.. gosh i must change the car plate number alr..
first period jiu PE liao. run the infamous L-route in tj. tho my first time doing it.. but i heard abt it beforehand liao. and i heard its 3.2km. and i took freakin long. so long im pissed with myself once again. pissed at my own fitness level. i took 17 mins 50 secs i think. compared to the first runner. WILSON from chungcheng who took 13 mins plus only. my god la. how did he improve or how did i slacken.. im so demoralised la. my stamina... arrrgghhz.. anyway after pe i went to do pull ups with sum OAC guys. did abt 10 pull ups den go for break.
after school.. we went to play soccer. was quite fun. played with one or two guys from the tj soccer team. they are j1s. quite fun quite cool quite nice. but i think when our class form a team.. individually we might have the certain standards.. ok la not that bad.. but when we play as a team.. i tink its like young kids playin soccer run after ball kind tgr one. so quite loser ar. but i rmb got one ball. when i was infront of goal. i zham. den sintat was goalkeeper. den it hit the top horizontal bar of the goal past damn hard that it shoook the entire goalpost la. den the ball rebound out.. its like.. ZZ LA! hit tiang hit until so hard. plus top bar. i tink damn nice la. same satisfaction as scoring a goal sia.. den theres another pass made right infront of thier goal. where i cant rmb how i did it. but i some how got the ball bouncin and half volleyed it into the goal. and guess what. it went BETWEEN SINTATS LEGS! its an OLE GOAL! omg la. i thought he would save it liao.. cos i saw it going towards his legs. but it just went in between. LOL LOL LOL! ole goal sia! i think damn tyco but damn nice ar. considering its also a volley.. this proves that even if your aimin sucks.. you still can tyco get a goal. haha. anyway. i lurve that goal. ole sintat. and goal. half volley. yummmmmyy.
after socccerr i slacked around in canteen with the dudes i played soccer with then wwent for rockclimbing. 4 start. 4.30 chem prac. so bascially half an hour. i went there. we were told to do stretching.. den pull ups. told to do maximum. den do 2 sets of 5. i did abt like 11. freakin weicheng. he do before me. and he did 22. im so freakin pissss. piss becos he thrash me by so much.. ZZZ.do mroe den me nvm liao.. still thrash sia.. wth. 22. nice la. tho not quite standard.. so i requested to do first. den before i zhao off to chem prac.
during chem prac. quite fun la. rather.. damn fun also la. kenny nabby claudy thoes four. make fun so much i think got one time teacher piss sia. but shes like.. at most 21 years type of person i dun even noe if shes a qualified teacher or some makeshift NIE personel coming to supervise us. but she does look hot la. not as hot as the other chem lecturer tho. anyway.. we somehow talked abt clubbing and being a bar tender cos of how kenny shakes his volumetric flask. den he just blurted out that he wanna be a bouncer. then the teacher, not far away, said " one mroe word from you and you will get out." to kenny. haha. i bet she had a bad expereince with bouncers. so kenny. it aint ur fault lol.
after chem prac where i stained my shirt and another NIE guy helpfully suggested us to drip hydrogen peroxide on it to get rid of the stain... i went back to rock climbing. where i was taught how to belay properly. here. i did three cool things. i completed climbing one of the walls. and to be frank. its my first attempt at climbing it. seriously. my first time i climb a wall being belayed. first time i climb that huge wall. and first time i tried it out. and on that maiden attempt. i sorta completeed it. i went all the way up till like 3/4 of the route. den i some how slipped. cos the stone to hold onto is so freakin far and ive exhuasted everything every single muscle in my body. so i fell. chicken was belaying me. so i was held there hanging around. people from below screamed for me to continue and not give up. in which i was made to continue. i carried on. got my grip. and climb. den i completed it. the final rock was the furthest and scariest. i had to reach damn far. and summore must both hands hold on it to be counted as complete. i did it. and after that when i was being belay down. i stole a peep down and got freaked out at the distance. how far i was away from the ground.
i think in that climbing process. i caught some peoples attention from down below and they were like commanding me to do this and that and to shout encourgaements for me to carry on climbing. blooody hell i love that feeling. cos. its my first time. and i felt or thought and hoped i did prove my worth. i am physically up to it. anyway i shatt attempt trying to describe wad it feels like. just look at a rock wall. and imagine your legs and hands being stuck, held on firmly and tightly with all your muscles, for you to stick to the wall. for you to not fall backwards. the rope. is just incase if you call. you can try without the rope its the same effect as what i've been through. mind you.. it was my 3 session of rockclimbing only. and my very first proper attempt at the wall. sticking to the wall aint enough. you have to do a sudden muscle strain on every part of your body when you reach for the next part. you gotta lossen one of your hand's grip. den with the whole body momentum push upwards to reach and grip the next stone. consider my height. consider thier distance of the stones. den think of how tiring it was. fyi, when i came down. my fore arms are bulging and tensed up like nobody's business. reminds me of my times in nanyang where i had muscle cramp and my arms had to be 90degrees. it happened again. my muscles are tensed up and it was blooody thick and scary. definetly thicker then chickens legs.
after that first time and huge accomplishment. i felt sooooo gd. and soo high when i came down. i did it. first time climbing. even tho i failt attemptin it. i managed to carry on. and complete it. so it might be abit wasted. would be perfect if i didnt fall at the first place. den i went on to learn belay. and i belayed meifen. haha. for once i felt the heavy responsibility of doing sth properly. otherwise sth serious might happen. so i tried my best and was serious abt the whole issue of belaying. she was quite tired so she didnt climb that high up anyway. i was tired from climbing alr. so lucky for me. i can belay less. haha.
after that was physical training. and i did another 16 pulls ups. den the 2 sets of 5. that makes abt 47 .. round up. 50 pull ups for the day. weicheng claimed he did 60. anyway. its all soo coool. 50 pulls up. man. what a feat. that is the way to go.
after pt we went for gamma house function. simply a mini clubbing session in the sch canteen. live band.. loud music.. food and drinks. eric from nanyang.. the rugby player and also the guitarist who used to perform for nanyang whenever there's a live band on the stage was there. haha. this is the cool part. me and kenny. went up the stage. and did a mini striptist dance. as in. we attempted to strip on stage la. like.. take off our shirt la. but we didnt. but we tried. and we DID went on stage and entertain thoes people down dere. i did showed off my white underwear and kept pullin my shirt out halfway. i just dun dare to take off later sth serious punishemtn sia. like teacher scold or whht. haha. anyway. my class guys did enjoyed it i hope. and i hope no one really saw my face. man that gay stripper. haha.
after that we went to eat. and i held meifens hand.. OOOH SO SWWEEETT!! somehow we talked about comparing the length of our hands. and i didnt want to. so i said to compare finger lengtth instead. i held my palm out. and she placed hers on top of mine. KIAP. i closed my fingers. WOOOHOOO!!! i got meifens hand. then i brought it to udner thetabel and swing about there. the others were laughing and shit la. i jokingly told meifen that she wun wash her hand when she go home liao. haha. others told her to disinfect with clorine and what shit. kenny told her to cut off her hand. haha. it was fun with adam around. he tried to make meifen touch my back later on. i tihknk my wet shirt from rockclimbing and jupming up and down and dacning at the house functions made her turn off. she was like.. eee.e.. your shirt wet kinda thing. haha. den i play with meifen take her handphone she went around the food court lookin for it. when i realised she dd that i immediately returned the fone too her. man im so bad rite. haha. but i didnt noe she wun ask for it what. she just silently went off to look for it herself. haha.
anyway. i held meifens hand. wakaka. i knoe its nth. but its fun and sweet la. haha. i was jk only btw. hope she wuldnt mind.
the day started off like normal.. as usual..climb into the new car. mitsubishi lancer. black and stylish and sleek and all. den mum drove mei to her sch den dropped me at tj. and as usual i would be inside dozing off. not dozing off. i would be sleeping. i seriously cant imagine that within that journey where the car drives towards tj sch gate... how many potential suitors of mine saw me drooling.. omg la.. it'll so turn them on.. gosh i must change the car plate number alr..
first period jiu PE liao. run the infamous L-route in tj. tho my first time doing it.. but i heard abt it beforehand liao. and i heard its 3.2km. and i took freakin long. so long im pissed with myself once again. pissed at my own fitness level. i took 17 mins 50 secs i think. compared to the first runner. WILSON from chungcheng who took 13 mins plus only. my god la. how did he improve or how did i slacken.. im so demoralised la. my stamina... arrrgghhz.. anyway after pe i went to do pull ups with sum OAC guys. did abt 10 pull ups den go for break.
after school.. we went to play soccer. was quite fun. played with one or two guys from the tj soccer team. they are j1s. quite fun quite cool quite nice. but i think when our class form a team.. individually we might have the certain standards.. ok la not that bad.. but when we play as a team.. i tink its like young kids playin soccer run after ball kind tgr one. so quite loser ar. but i rmb got one ball. when i was infront of goal. i zham. den sintat was goalkeeper. den it hit the top horizontal bar of the goal past damn hard that it shoook the entire goalpost la. den the ball rebound out.. its like.. ZZ LA! hit tiang hit until so hard. plus top bar. i tink damn nice la. same satisfaction as scoring a goal sia.. den theres another pass made right infront of thier goal. where i cant rmb how i did it. but i some how got the ball bouncin and half volleyed it into the goal. and guess what. it went BETWEEN SINTATS LEGS! its an OLE GOAL! omg la. i thought he would save it liao.. cos i saw it going towards his legs. but it just went in between. LOL LOL LOL! ole goal sia! i think damn tyco but damn nice ar. considering its also a volley.. this proves that even if your aimin sucks.. you still can tyco get a goal. haha. anyway. i lurve that goal. ole sintat. and goal. half volley. yummmmmyy.
after socccerr i slacked around in canteen with the dudes i played soccer with then wwent for rockclimbing. 4 start. 4.30 chem prac. so bascially half an hour. i went there. we were told to do stretching.. den pull ups. told to do maximum. den do 2 sets of 5. i did abt like 11. freakin weicheng. he do before me. and he did 22. im so freakin pissss. piss becos he thrash me by so much.. ZZZ.do mroe den me nvm liao.. still thrash sia.. wth. 22. nice la. tho not quite standard.. so i requested to do first. den before i zhao off to chem prac.
during chem prac. quite fun la. rather.. damn fun also la. kenny nabby claudy thoes four. make fun so much i think got one time teacher piss sia. but shes like.. at most 21 years type of person i dun even noe if shes a qualified teacher or some makeshift NIE personel coming to supervise us. but she does look hot la. not as hot as the other chem lecturer tho. anyway.. we somehow talked abt clubbing and being a bar tender cos of how kenny shakes his volumetric flask. den he just blurted out that he wanna be a bouncer. then the teacher, not far away, said " one mroe word from you and you will get out." to kenny. haha. i bet she had a bad expereince with bouncers. so kenny. it aint ur fault lol.
after chem prac where i stained my shirt and another NIE guy helpfully suggested us to drip hydrogen peroxide on it to get rid of the stain... i went back to rock climbing. where i was taught how to belay properly. here. i did three cool things. i completed climbing one of the walls. and to be frank. its my first attempt at climbing it. seriously. my first time i climb a wall being belayed. first time i climb that huge wall. and first time i tried it out. and on that maiden attempt. i sorta completeed it. i went all the way up till like 3/4 of the route. den i some how slipped. cos the stone to hold onto is so freakin far and ive exhuasted everything every single muscle in my body. so i fell. chicken was belaying me. so i was held there hanging around. people from below screamed for me to continue and not give up. in which i was made to continue. i carried on. got my grip. and climb. den i completed it. the final rock was the furthest and scariest. i had to reach damn far. and summore must both hands hold on it to be counted as complete. i did it. and after that when i was being belay down. i stole a peep down and got freaked out at the distance. how far i was away from the ground.
i think in that climbing process. i caught some peoples attention from down below and they were like commanding me to do this and that and to shout encourgaements for me to carry on climbing. blooody hell i love that feeling. cos. its my first time. and i felt or thought and hoped i did prove my worth. i am physically up to it. anyway i shatt attempt trying to describe wad it feels like. just look at a rock wall. and imagine your legs and hands being stuck, held on firmly and tightly with all your muscles, for you to stick to the wall. for you to not fall backwards. the rope. is just incase if you call. you can try without the rope its the same effect as what i've been through. mind you.. it was my 3 session of rockclimbing only. and my very first proper attempt at the wall. sticking to the wall aint enough. you have to do a sudden muscle strain on every part of your body when you reach for the next part. you gotta lossen one of your hand's grip. den with the whole body momentum push upwards to reach and grip the next stone. consider my height. consider thier distance of the stones. den think of how tiring it was. fyi, when i came down. my fore arms are bulging and tensed up like nobody's business. reminds me of my times in nanyang where i had muscle cramp and my arms had to be 90degrees. it happened again. my muscles are tensed up and it was blooody thick and scary. definetly thicker then chickens legs.
after that first time and huge accomplishment. i felt sooooo gd. and soo high when i came down. i did it. first time climbing. even tho i failt attemptin it. i managed to carry on. and complete it. so it might be abit wasted. would be perfect if i didnt fall at the first place. den i went on to learn belay. and i belayed meifen. haha. for once i felt the heavy responsibility of doing sth properly. otherwise sth serious might happen. so i tried my best and was serious abt the whole issue of belaying. she was quite tired so she didnt climb that high up anyway. i was tired from climbing alr. so lucky for me. i can belay less. haha.
after that was physical training. and i did another 16 pulls ups. den the 2 sets of 5. that makes abt 47 .. round up. 50 pull ups for the day. weicheng claimed he did 60. anyway. its all soo coool. 50 pulls up. man. what a feat. that is the way to go.
after pt we went for gamma house function. simply a mini clubbing session in the sch canteen. live band.. loud music.. food and drinks. eric from nanyang.. the rugby player and also the guitarist who used to perform for nanyang whenever there's a live band on the stage was there. haha. this is the cool part. me and kenny. went up the stage. and did a mini striptist dance. as in. we attempted to strip on stage la. like.. take off our shirt la. but we didnt. but we tried. and we DID went on stage and entertain thoes people down dere. i did showed off my white underwear and kept pullin my shirt out halfway. i just dun dare to take off later sth serious punishemtn sia. like teacher scold or whht. haha. anyway. my class guys did enjoyed it i hope. and i hope no one really saw my face. man that gay stripper. haha.
after that we went to eat. and i held meifens hand.. OOOH SO SWWEEETT!! somehow we talked about comparing the length of our hands. and i didnt want to. so i said to compare finger lengtth instead. i held my palm out. and she placed hers on top of mine. KIAP. i closed my fingers. WOOOHOOO!!! i got meifens hand. then i brought it to udner thetabel and swing about there. the others were laughing and shit la. i jokingly told meifen that she wun wash her hand when she go home liao. haha. others told her to disinfect with clorine and what shit. kenny told her to cut off her hand. haha. it was fun with adam around. he tried to make meifen touch my back later on. i tihknk my wet shirt from rockclimbing and jupming up and down and dacning at the house functions made her turn off. she was like.. eee.e.. your shirt wet kinda thing. haha. den i play with meifen take her handphone she went around the food court lookin for it. when i realised she dd that i immediately returned the fone too her. man im so bad rite. haha. but i didnt noe she wun ask for it what. she just silently went off to look for it herself. haha.
anyway. i held meifens hand. wakaka. i knoe its nth. but its fun and sweet la. haha. i was jk only btw. hope she wuldnt mind.
Thursday, April 6, 2006
Good moring school. Here all the morning aNNOUNCements..
my class
real cool peeps i have in my class. real cool. i tink individually privately they r damn cool. damn got attitude. some r alr showing their flaws la.. or rather i can spot them alr. sad. but its not much of a big case.. so i hope i still can endure it for thw following two years.. everything we think of it.. it sounds so scary and serious.. the thingy about the class being together for two whole years. throughtout your whole jc life you are basically stuck with them. suffer and mug and play together. i hope it will be fruitful and pleasant. i'll contribute my fair share to fun! haha. anyway. i realised having 9 guys in class aint fun. seriously. used to admire thoes ppl with very very few guys in class. (proves im normal and straight) but now. i see the other side of it. you have lesser buddiess.. i mean seriously buddies.. or gay pals.. i mean im quite disturbed by it. ok maybe disturbed is too strong a word and might make myself sound gay.. but seriously. you got very limited guys to chill with la. as in gender male type of guys. its just diff when you chill with guys and with girls la. girls are girls. you cant chill with girls wad you whill with guys. with guys you're more carefree.. no restrictions of movements or speech. and that to me matters. since i can be MORE of myself. not that im not myself with girls.. but with girls you really gotta behave la. you cant be too offensive in your language.. you might simply offend them anytime without you actually intending o or without you knowing. thats the big deal. refer to henry's second recent most update (to this date). there.. he ATTEMPTS to define girls. haha. not very relavant to my main point tho. haha. anyway simply cos my class majority ARE girls. hell, its either i change. or they learn to adapt with me. haha. do i sound like im a bastard infront of girls? hell i think im expressing myself wrongly here. ok girls.. dont readd too much into this ok? just get to know me better. and pass your own judgement of me yourself. dont be affected by this or others perceptions of me. cos to some imma HOT GUY (well maybe to claire rebecca and claudia wahah).. to others imm even HOTTER so yea.. anyway as i was saying.. i would sincerely like to know my classmates better. each and everyone of them. currently i would say they are still quite dao but are slowly starting to socialize la. it doesnt matter who iniatiates it but i like the feeling of getting to know another person better. like.. bonding. its a fun and pleasant proccess esp if that person has similar likings or traits as you.. even better if this bonding process is reciprocal. i hate one sided talking sesssions.
friends
i miss my old friends. old meaning like you know them.. yet you seldom or rather less regularly as you used to come into contact with them. ok la. simply like primary sch or sec sch friends la. ok wait. i really hafta include previous jc's friends. thoes are solid man. 3 months time frame and you consider yourselves brothers and this brotherhood is actually comparable to thoes in sec sch which you took 2 years to establish kind. so i would say jc friend ship is fast and furious sia. short term period you become so close. POWER TAK? anyway i wan more more more and more friends la. you just cant get enough or too much of them.
cca
tj calls it personal development programme. pdp in short. sounds so chim. tho its a nicer term for cca. but we are like so accustomed to callin cca liao. so not quite used to calling pdp now. ok slowly i am la. gotta register real early lor. one thing i find a bug in this whole system is. if pdp's wanna have trials. esp sports.. shouldnt they like hold the trials way before the registration of the pdp? ok maybe some sports cca did do that but rock climbing nv. zz. like their selection is only on 12th april. whereas we're supposed to choose and register our pdp online like.. way before that. say i register rock climbing. but then for the selection trials i suay suay nv kena chosen den how? then wouldnt it be like. you're either in the club yet not in the team. or sth like.. in recreactiional grp? you neiher here nor there. so you like stuck in the middle of two realms. i dowan to have to be in recreactional grp. nor some small cca which is only referred to as an interest grp. so now i've registered rock climbing. but later if i not chosen den how?! i would consider quittin and like.. find another pdp where i can get first team action or maybe worst come to worst ( actually it aint the worst since i dun mind it) i will go join leo club. cos it sounds cool. and leo is cool. *tryin to rap like 50cents* so in this sense i think the system is rather screwed up la. i lose out since i no first three months experience in climbin. and the rest the 1st intakers alr have taken the level one selection test. they've learn more den me. climbed more den me.. beleh more den me ( how u spell) and bought their climbing stuffs alr. i havent lose. i lose out alot. so it would be unfair la. if they choose based on capabilities and im not chosen since i dont even have level one. or i dont even have enought practise or experience. so im condemmned to not join this cca since im not here for 1st 3 months? i wunt be chosen since i havent taken level one test? but the fact is how can i take level one test if im not in the cca? i mean im just preparing my arguments if im not chosen la. haha. if im chosen i will just shut my trap. badminton.. hockey.. vball.. co.. leo club.. tourism club................................ what i wanted, considered to join..
homework tests lecture.
haha. now so much group work thingy.. until we start bonding or rather until i start to open up and socialize and make friends.. i think i will have to try and suit in la. just follow with mood and groove and swayy your boodayye.. how i hope i coould be like in nanyang. where every corner i turn. i see a freind. i see someone i know. where they will say hi. and i will reply hi.. or i wave hi.. and they wave back.. sadly it aint the case here. i just dont know enough ppl la!!
peopls say we r the best.. i mean people say im popular and high profile in nanyang and stuffs like that ( sounds damn haolian. well actually cos i am) but when i come here. its like.. no such thing lehh. like.. who the hell are you thingy. and that feeling sucks la. like i moved out of my comfort zone.. and come here to slog it out. start all over again. and have to climb higher. others climbed at the same time together. so it was easier to climb up. but i have to climb alone. and soo much distance at that just to catch up. man i seriously hate the disadvantages i have when it comes to such things. not anyone fault really. just the srewed system la. but you say make away with first three months i also dowan.. but dun make away.. people like me suffer.. buttt.. am i the only one? i hope not. maybe im just too sensitive la..
arrr.. raining season.. arsenals through to c league. song bo. ultra sia.. hope they do win it. win the whole thing. omg then that would be total ownage. projectwork is cool currently.. real coooll.. but thats currently. who knows what might happen 5 months down the road? haha so long no dota liao. i miss my sa. my smokescreen.. man.. give me back my dota! i wanna backstab people!
my class
real cool peeps i have in my class. real cool. i tink individually privately they r damn cool. damn got attitude. some r alr showing their flaws la.. or rather i can spot them alr. sad. but its not much of a big case.. so i hope i still can endure it for thw following two years.. everything we think of it.. it sounds so scary and serious.. the thingy about the class being together for two whole years. throughtout your whole jc life you are basically stuck with them. suffer and mug and play together. i hope it will be fruitful and pleasant. i'll contribute my fair share to fun! haha. anyway. i realised having 9 guys in class aint fun. seriously. used to admire thoes ppl with very very few guys in class. (proves im normal and straight) but now. i see the other side of it. you have lesser buddiess.. i mean seriously buddies.. or gay pals.. i mean im quite disturbed by it. ok maybe disturbed is too strong a word and might make myself sound gay.. but seriously. you got very limited guys to chill with la. as in gender male type of guys. its just diff when you chill with guys and with girls la. girls are girls. you cant chill with girls wad you whill with guys. with guys you're more carefree.. no restrictions of movements or speech. and that to me matters. since i can be MORE of myself. not that im not myself with girls.. but with girls you really gotta behave la. you cant be too offensive in your language.. you might simply offend them anytime without you actually intending o or without you knowing. thats the big deal. refer to henry's second recent most update (to this date). there.. he ATTEMPTS to define girls. haha. not very relavant to my main point tho. haha. anyway simply cos my class majority ARE girls. hell, its either i change. or they learn to adapt with me. haha. do i sound like im a bastard infront of girls? hell i think im expressing myself wrongly here. ok girls.. dont readd too much into this ok? just get to know me better. and pass your own judgement of me yourself. dont be affected by this or others perceptions of me. cos to some imma HOT GUY (well maybe to claire rebecca and claudia wahah).. to others imm even HOTTER so yea.. anyway as i was saying.. i would sincerely like to know my classmates better. each and everyone of them. currently i would say they are still quite dao but are slowly starting to socialize la. it doesnt matter who iniatiates it but i like the feeling of getting to know another person better. like.. bonding. its a fun and pleasant proccess esp if that person has similar likings or traits as you.. even better if this bonding process is reciprocal. i hate one sided talking sesssions.
friends
i miss my old friends. old meaning like you know them.. yet you seldom or rather less regularly as you used to come into contact with them. ok la. simply like primary sch or sec sch friends la. ok wait. i really hafta include previous jc's friends. thoes are solid man. 3 months time frame and you consider yourselves brothers and this brotherhood is actually comparable to thoes in sec sch which you took 2 years to establish kind. so i would say jc friend ship is fast and furious sia. short term period you become so close. POWER TAK? anyway i wan more more more and more friends la. you just cant get enough or too much of them.
cca
tj calls it personal development programme. pdp in short. sounds so chim. tho its a nicer term for cca. but we are like so accustomed to callin cca liao. so not quite used to calling pdp now. ok slowly i am la. gotta register real early lor. one thing i find a bug in this whole system is. if pdp's wanna have trials. esp sports.. shouldnt they like hold the trials way before the registration of the pdp? ok maybe some sports cca did do that but rock climbing nv. zz. like their selection is only on 12th april. whereas we're supposed to choose and register our pdp online like.. way before that. say i register rock climbing. but then for the selection trials i suay suay nv kena chosen den how? then wouldnt it be like. you're either in the club yet not in the team. or sth like.. in recreactiional grp? you neiher here nor there. so you like stuck in the middle of two realms. i dowan to have to be in recreactional grp. nor some small cca which is only referred to as an interest grp. so now i've registered rock climbing. but later if i not chosen den how?! i would consider quittin and like.. find another pdp where i can get first team action or maybe worst come to worst ( actually it aint the worst since i dun mind it) i will go join leo club. cos it sounds cool. and leo is cool. *tryin to rap like 50cents* so in this sense i think the system is rather screwed up la. i lose out since i no first three months experience in climbin. and the rest the 1st intakers alr have taken the level one selection test. they've learn more den me. climbed more den me.. beleh more den me ( how u spell) and bought their climbing stuffs alr. i havent lose. i lose out alot. so it would be unfair la. if they choose based on capabilities and im not chosen since i dont even have level one. or i dont even have enought practise or experience. so im condemmned to not join this cca since im not here for 1st 3 months? i wunt be chosen since i havent taken level one test? but the fact is how can i take level one test if im not in the cca? i mean im just preparing my arguments if im not chosen la. haha. if im chosen i will just shut my trap. badminton.. hockey.. vball.. co.. leo club.. tourism club................................ what i wanted, considered to join..
homework tests lecture.
haha. now so much group work thingy.. until we start bonding or rather until i start to open up and socialize and make friends.. i think i will have to try and suit in la. just follow with mood and groove and swayy your boodayye.. how i hope i coould be like in nanyang. where every corner i turn. i see a freind. i see someone i know. where they will say hi. and i will reply hi.. or i wave hi.. and they wave back.. sadly it aint the case here. i just dont know enough ppl la!!
peopls say we r the best.. i mean people say im popular and high profile in nanyang and stuffs like that ( sounds damn haolian. well actually cos i am) but when i come here. its like.. no such thing lehh. like.. who the hell are you thingy. and that feeling sucks la. like i moved out of my comfort zone.. and come here to slog it out. start all over again. and have to climb higher. others climbed at the same time together. so it was easier to climb up. but i have to climb alone. and soo much distance at that just to catch up. man i seriously hate the disadvantages i have when it comes to such things. not anyone fault really. just the srewed system la. but you say make away with first three months i also dowan.. but dun make away.. people like me suffer.. buttt.. am i the only one? i hope not. maybe im just too sensitive la..
arrr.. raining season.. arsenals through to c league. song bo. ultra sia.. hope they do win it. win the whole thing. omg then that would be total ownage. projectwork is cool currently.. real coooll.. but thats currently. who knows what might happen 5 months down the road? haha so long no dota liao. i miss my sa. my smokescreen.. man.. give me back my dota! i wanna backstab people!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
went back nanyang twice during thier orientation. once was thier movie night which showed x men 2. the other was the disco night. and on both occasions.. i feel that i really like my old class even with the new people. in fact. the new people add more style and flavour and fun to the class. but with me gone.. of course not as fun la. haha. guess what. of the 12 new classmates ( 12 old 12 new? ) i know like. most of them? rudi from my og is now in my class.. lester.. the monfort bballer who crashed almost everyday for first three months.. zixuan aloy.. buddies from chungcheng.. derrick.. victoria guy i know through robotics.. the old people who are still in the class. and of cos many other new people whom i started to get closer with.. say teck ming? i don't know how to spell or pronounce his name but to me it seriously doesnt matter. somehow. i feel that i know him from long ago. like a long lost friend. and like. just one or two sentences makes me so aqquainted to him alr. i know that sounds gay. but its rare to find people whom you can suddenly click so well with. the thing is. you've nv met nor spoke to him before. but when u realise you all have just one common similarity.. you'll just hit off well already. thats cool. esp since just now we had lunch together after dragonboat.. i find it a waste not to be his good friend or to be his classmate. cant to much to regret though. im a tjcian now.
each time i crash ny. im left with soo much thoughts.. nostalgia.. and like.. thoes sad sad sorrowful feelings. thoes you get when you graduate from your previous institution. like you miss primary sch when you go sec sch. and you miss sec sch when you're in jc. you miss the place. cos its ur comfort zone. cos it's where you grew up. it's whr u sweat.. cried.. had fun at.. made friends at and you'd experience all the other possible emotions there. tt forms a strong bond.. like a sense of belonging to the area. like you own the place. its your own territory. now that your sense of ownership is removed from you.. you still yearn for it.. you still have the habit of thinking you have it.. you take the whole place for granted. despite all these whiny whiny gay feelings.. you feel excited because you have progressed one step further. you are stepping onto new unfamiliar grounds. the mystery just sends a sense of thrill. its brings like.. anticipation.. mystery... new traditions.. new experiences.. tt's exactly how i feel now abt stepping out from nanyang to tj. the yearn for the NY ownership is there. esp since now there are new people. and its a difference scenario now with academics playing a more impt role and studying kicks in. studying systems change.. and you wish you can stay to exprience the proper studying system. tt's how i feel. yet , like what i've said.. you want to try out tj's sch culture too. the studying system.. making friends and all.. i get i'll just have to move on with life. i chose to tj. i sticked to it. i dint appeal back to ny. and of cos. i gotta live with tj. not that i hate tj. or anything. but its just that i miss ny. just like how people might miss thier sec sch now.
this results in me wanting to crash ny often.. keepin in touch with ny friends to find out abt the happenings in ny. i even would want to train with nanyang draonboat every week. i dont know if i cant take it. whther i haf the time. whether it will affect my studies. but.. its a "want". i want to. i want to train with them and be part of ny dragonboat. i like the toughness.. the physically challenging trials and training. the feeling you get when you're rowing.. when you're scolded.. when you push yourself. when you tell yourself you have to prove your worth.. when you know if you slack or stop. you affect people around you. and that people behind you are lookin at your every movement to keep with the coordination. i know im not alone. since there are others who crash ny dragonboat even more regularly than me. there are thoes who are no more in ny but still crash ny like they still are in ny. crash thier cca.. crash oreintation or whatever. they might even represent ny to join comps.
i'll do it too whenever possible. if like there's any sch event. i'll prob try and make it. to get the ny spirit again. catch up with ny.. and to meet up with friends. seriously. if only i can get to know all the new classmates. and pretend that im part of the class. i know its not possible. but i dream of like. going to every class outing possible... having lunch like every week or going out to study together. that'll be great. not to mention i can go dragonboat with them. well. i guess. i'll leave it at that. im not complaining. im not. i cant. and i wont. im just commenting. not lammenting. pick up the mess ( mess is a wrong word. there's no mess but im just following the phrase) and move on.
now in tj. i would say im still adapting? trying to adapt..adapting.. or adapted . i dont know. i just want to be hapy in tj. like i am everywhere else. and quite importantly. i want to be myself. like my usual. i dont want to have to pretend or act something else i know im not to suit to the enviroment. that sucks. its not natural. iits very fake and artificial. tj is still new to me. i dont know where the toilets are. what the tradition or culture is. the oreintation just provided fun. a brief scrape through on the sch spirit and stuffs like that but not in detail. i guess such things have to be explored individually. i seriously dont know what cca to join. stop askin or telling me to join dragonboat. im made to like dranboat because of ny. because i join ny dragonboat. i may not like it itself if im else where. furthermore. tj has no dragonboat. even if it has. i might not join it. people are telling me to join badminton. im thinking abt it. i just fear the streneous training. long training hours that ends at like 7 plus. and when i reach home. its 8 plus almost 9. how to study or even slack? one thing abt tj. i really take an hour to reach home. tt sucks. i reallly rather ny travelling hours which is half an hour exactly.
i cant comment on tj notes since i havent been reading them. i know the pace is faster. and they epect you to know everything. i realise that tj expects you to have first three months. for you to have prior knowledge from sec sch. for you to study on your own. for you to be smart. its not the case in ny. since ny is ranked lower. and takes high l1r5 intakes. they cant have such expectations. i guess for ny. the make up leactures are probably at a slower pace. like reeally teaching everything. cos they expect some students to not have first three months. but in tj. they expect the students to have first three months and expect them to have learnt to topic with the first three months. so they just skim through. like refresh memory. not teach. more of like revise. thats GENERALLY the case. and by logic. it just make sense. i can just imagine in RJ. or HCI or even VJ. maybe like just throw you notes. and like. take half our make up lecture session. say we use 1 hr for one topic. they use 1/2 hour. haha. thats reality.
i have to study. i have to do my notes. i have to chiong and finish the previous tutorials the first three months people have done. i have to study more since i slacked my first three months away. i have to catch up. i have to bond with the classmates. i have to think of a new cca to join. i have to adapt to tj. so many things. at such a fast pace. i know i can do it. and i will do it. i will seek help if i need it. now we are given the projectwork questiion paper. it is a proper examination paper from A LEVELS. its the proper question paper. its an exam. and its started. i dont know what im doing here. i should be preparing for it. like i did for o levels. pls dont let me slack. dont let me drop in my standards. cos im alr slow. i need to learn and learn fast. pick up the pace the tempo and endure to the end. its really like dragonboat.
today one is freakin cool. i was on j2 boat. pace damn fast. damn triing. damn torturing. damn shiok. pain like shit. suffer like shit. get scolded like shit. and the feelin sucks. every thing sucks. but i like it. i just lurve it when you come out from the boat. and you feel the bulging arms.but stil.. i feel pain and numbness. and the heat. burning sensation on the skin. tired and all. thats really dragonboat training. for starters. waarm up. i did 100 push up. 100 crunches. 100 torsle raise. the 100 pumping made me wake up. im no longer my usual fitness. im no longer as strong as i tot i am. im no longer as strong as i was. i thought it would be no kick. it was no kick to me in the past. no nore more. not anymore. i must train up. i must get it back. im damn disappointed. after doing 2-3 sets. i go down. cannot come up. like fuck. wheres my strength. i really have to stuff myself more. eat more. get the body mass then train. im damn sad abt this. damn disappointed. you dont know what i expect from myself. i don think you understand what im talking about here. i just need motivation.
feels empty la. knowing not many real close friends in tj. i know it will change. but now no. i know i got friends. close or not im not sure. but in time to come. there will be. i will have i will make it happen. i just need more time. and chances to open up. i want to be me in this new area.
i hope dad's doing well in china. everythings going smoothly for him. he will succeed. just like i will. god bless him and me.
each time i crash ny. im left with soo much thoughts.. nostalgia.. and like.. thoes sad sad sorrowful feelings. thoes you get when you graduate from your previous institution. like you miss primary sch when you go sec sch. and you miss sec sch when you're in jc. you miss the place. cos its ur comfort zone. cos it's where you grew up. it's whr u sweat.. cried.. had fun at.. made friends at and you'd experience all the other possible emotions there. tt forms a strong bond.. like a sense of belonging to the area. like you own the place. its your own territory. now that your sense of ownership is removed from you.. you still yearn for it.. you still have the habit of thinking you have it.. you take the whole place for granted. despite all these whiny whiny gay feelings.. you feel excited because you have progressed one step further. you are stepping onto new unfamiliar grounds. the mystery just sends a sense of thrill. its brings like.. anticipation.. mystery... new traditions.. new experiences.. tt's exactly how i feel now abt stepping out from nanyang to tj. the yearn for the NY ownership is there. esp since now there are new people. and its a difference scenario now with academics playing a more impt role and studying kicks in. studying systems change.. and you wish you can stay to exprience the proper studying system. tt's how i feel. yet , like what i've said.. you want to try out tj's sch culture too. the studying system.. making friends and all.. i get i'll just have to move on with life. i chose to tj. i sticked to it. i dint appeal back to ny. and of cos. i gotta live with tj. not that i hate tj. or anything. but its just that i miss ny. just like how people might miss thier sec sch now.
this results in me wanting to crash ny often.. keepin in touch with ny friends to find out abt the happenings in ny. i even would want to train with nanyang draonboat every week. i dont know if i cant take it. whther i haf the time. whether it will affect my studies. but.. its a "want". i want to. i want to train with them and be part of ny dragonboat. i like the toughness.. the physically challenging trials and training. the feeling you get when you're rowing.. when you're scolded.. when you push yourself. when you tell yourself you have to prove your worth.. when you know if you slack or stop. you affect people around you. and that people behind you are lookin at your every movement to keep with the coordination. i know im not alone. since there are others who crash ny dragonboat even more regularly than me. there are thoes who are no more in ny but still crash ny like they still are in ny. crash thier cca.. crash oreintation or whatever. they might even represent ny to join comps.
i'll do it too whenever possible. if like there's any sch event. i'll prob try and make it. to get the ny spirit again. catch up with ny.. and to meet up with friends. seriously. if only i can get to know all the new classmates. and pretend that im part of the class. i know its not possible. but i dream of like. going to every class outing possible... having lunch like every week or going out to study together. that'll be great. not to mention i can go dragonboat with them. well. i guess. i'll leave it at that. im not complaining. im not. i cant. and i wont. im just commenting. not lammenting. pick up the mess ( mess is a wrong word. there's no mess but im just following the phrase) and move on.
now in tj. i would say im still adapting? trying to adapt..adapting.. or adapted . i dont know. i just want to be hapy in tj. like i am everywhere else. and quite importantly. i want to be myself. like my usual. i dont want to have to pretend or act something else i know im not to suit to the enviroment. that sucks. its not natural. iits very fake and artificial. tj is still new to me. i dont know where the toilets are. what the tradition or culture is. the oreintation just provided fun. a brief scrape through on the sch spirit and stuffs like that but not in detail. i guess such things have to be explored individually. i seriously dont know what cca to join. stop askin or telling me to join dragonboat. im made to like dranboat because of ny. because i join ny dragonboat. i may not like it itself if im else where. furthermore. tj has no dragonboat. even if it has. i might not join it. people are telling me to join badminton. im thinking abt it. i just fear the streneous training. long training hours that ends at like 7 plus. and when i reach home. its 8 plus almost 9. how to study or even slack? one thing abt tj. i really take an hour to reach home. tt sucks. i reallly rather ny travelling hours which is half an hour exactly.
i cant comment on tj notes since i havent been reading them. i know the pace is faster. and they epect you to know everything. i realise that tj expects you to have first three months. for you to have prior knowledge from sec sch. for you to study on your own. for you to be smart. its not the case in ny. since ny is ranked lower. and takes high l1r5 intakes. they cant have such expectations. i guess for ny. the make up leactures are probably at a slower pace. like reeally teaching everything. cos they expect some students to not have first three months. but in tj. they expect the students to have first three months and expect them to have learnt to topic with the first three months. so they just skim through. like refresh memory. not teach. more of like revise. thats GENERALLY the case. and by logic. it just make sense. i can just imagine in RJ. or HCI or even VJ. maybe like just throw you notes. and like. take half our make up lecture session. say we use 1 hr for one topic. they use 1/2 hour. haha. thats reality.
i have to study. i have to do my notes. i have to chiong and finish the previous tutorials the first three months people have done. i have to study more since i slacked my first three months away. i have to catch up. i have to bond with the classmates. i have to think of a new cca to join. i have to adapt to tj. so many things. at such a fast pace. i know i can do it. and i will do it. i will seek help if i need it. now we are given the projectwork questiion paper. it is a proper examination paper from A LEVELS. its the proper question paper. its an exam. and its started. i dont know what im doing here. i should be preparing for it. like i did for o levels. pls dont let me slack. dont let me drop in my standards. cos im alr slow. i need to learn and learn fast. pick up the pace the tempo and endure to the end. its really like dragonboat.
today one is freakin cool. i was on j2 boat. pace damn fast. damn triing. damn torturing. damn shiok. pain like shit. suffer like shit. get scolded like shit. and the feelin sucks. every thing sucks. but i like it. i just lurve it when you come out from the boat. and you feel the bulging arms.but stil.. i feel pain and numbness. and the heat. burning sensation on the skin. tired and all. thats really dragonboat training. for starters. waarm up. i did 100 push up. 100 crunches. 100 torsle raise. the 100 pumping made me wake up. im no longer my usual fitness. im no longer as strong as i tot i am. im no longer as strong as i was. i thought it would be no kick. it was no kick to me in the past. no nore more. not anymore. i must train up. i must get it back. im damn disappointed. after doing 2-3 sets. i go down. cannot come up. like fuck. wheres my strength. i really have to stuff myself more. eat more. get the body mass then train. im damn sad abt this. damn disappointed. you dont know what i expect from myself. i don think you understand what im talking about here. i just need motivation.
feels empty la. knowing not many real close friends in tj. i know it will change. but now no. i know i got friends. close or not im not sure. but in time to come. there will be. i will have i will make it happen. i just need more time. and chances to open up. i want to be me in this new area.
i hope dad's doing well in china. everythings going smoothly for him. he will succeed. just like i will. god bless him and me.
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